In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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