this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
