the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
