i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
