What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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