Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So much Jack, so little girl.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
