The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Houston, we have a blender
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Randomize
