Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize