his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's rum buckets o'clock
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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