I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I wear drunk well.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
