Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
