there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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