just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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