I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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