i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
