We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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