Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
only if we run a train.
done.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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