Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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