What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
