We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
