she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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