saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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