see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
