once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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