Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
