Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
