I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
