Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
