I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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