my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Randomize
