I think my fart just growled at me.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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