Can Purell be used as lube?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
