my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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