maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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