Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
too bad you live with your parents still
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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