Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
