Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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