Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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