Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
