At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
