and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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