I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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