She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
