god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
