i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
