i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
