Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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