why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
NoShamevember. You game?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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