Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
