i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She bit a glass in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize