and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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