Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
