I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
