It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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