i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
