Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
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This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
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I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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