blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
