Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
