I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
